I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I have post one night stand depression
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