im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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