Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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