there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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