YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
