well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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