You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
