we made out on top of his cat.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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