bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
