Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
