whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
then he tried to convert me to islam
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
