how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
