yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I wish i was in the wii world.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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