i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
