He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
it was like eating out sand paper
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
