living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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