found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
