WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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