So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
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