i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
