sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
