Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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