Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
