She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
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