I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
