Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
