party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
