So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
