brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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