She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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