i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
