You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
