if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
