apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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