I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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