And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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