i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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