whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
