And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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