My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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