Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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