Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
