David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
