so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
