this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
