I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
