I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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