So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
