i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
