I can tuck mytits in my pants
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I need mimosas to revive my soul
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
