you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
