I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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