and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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