8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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