Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
