You're completely useless in the revolution.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
