i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
